10 chistes sobre gays y machistas, de Bonco Quiñongo, el humorista internacional que se presenta en Viña

Síguenos

En el casting del festival de Viña del Mar, parece que es requisito del curriculum, ser antiMaduro, se eligieron con Pinzas desde el animador, hasta los participantes de la competencia internacional, como fue el caso del representante de Panama. Y con el humorista extranjero no fue la excepción.

Bonco Quiñongo, es uno de ellos, sus redes sociales son constantes mensajes a favor de Guaidó y en contra del gobierno venezolano y cubano. Pero seamos honestos, las probabilidades de que le vaya bien en la quinta vergara son muy altas, y que se emocione con las gaviotas gritando «Viva Venezuela libre» «Fuera Maduro» también.

Aun así muchos no lo conocen, acá va un resumen de una de sus rutinas en las que las burlas a los gays y los ejemplos machistas son el guión completo de su presentación en un programa de Miami, tanto así, que el libreto parece escrito por José Antonio Kast.

1.- El que quiere ser gay que lo sea perfecto, pero por favor que está pasando en esta sociedad moderna que a los heterosexuales nos tienen acorralados. Es verdad un tipo de repente grita. «Soy gay» y todo el mundo lo apoya, le dice que es un valiente. En cambio vengo yo y digo «soy un mashho» y… (garabato censurado en el vídeo)

2.- De donde yo vengo, mi patria, Cuba, todo era más fácil. «Hombre mujer y pájaro (homosexual)» Acá en cambio (Miami): Hombre, mujer, gay, travesti, transexual, Ricky Martin, Eduardo Antonio, te vuelves loco. Y ahora hay una cosa que le dicen «metrosexual» , pregunté que era, y me dijeron «por las cositas que hace…(gesto amanerado) está a un metro de ser gay.

3.- Porque mira, el metrosexual se saca las cejas, se arregla las uñas, se depila el pecho, plancha la ropa y tiende la cama. Yo digo, eso es un pájaro(homosexual), pero más organizado.

4.- ¡Ojo! yo no tengo nada en contra de los gays, pero hay una cosa que me está preocupando, porque eso primero estuvo prohibido, después fue permitido y ahora es aceptado, van a ver que terminará siendo obligatorio.

5.- Aquí mismo en Miami, ¿no han ido a South Beach? ¡Eso es gaylandia! Tú nomás llegas a Ocean drive y se te afloja la cervical.

6.- Fui muy molesto desde un policia a decir «aca hay muchos gay» policia responde amanerado «si no te gusta el barrio te mudas»

7.- Tengo un libro, sobre como debe ser el hombre.
El hombre que es hombre después de los 30 debe tener barriga y mirarse al espejo una sola vez al dia. Esos machitos que ves tu con 40 años pegaditos al espejo: «mirame los biceps» «los triceps» (son pájaros(homosexuales). El hombre tiene que tener un buen barrigon con pelos y si tiene el ombligo sucio es mas hombre todavía.

8.- El hombre que tiene un pedacito de perro, un york o chichuahua es pajaro (homosexual) el hombre tiene que tener un perro grande, un rottweiler, un pitbull, que te tire de la cadena y le ladre a los negros y que coma lo mismo que tú. El que tenga un gato que se revise. ¿Tú como llamas a un perro? como macho. Y ¿Cómo llamas a un gato. Cuchi».. eso es pájaro (homosexual).

9.- El hombre que se sepa el nombre de un dulce «deme un croissant» es pájaro (homosexual). Y el hombre que se sepa mas de 7 colores es pájaro. Un hombre solo se sabe los básicos, solo debe saber negro, blanco amarillo. Etc El que sepa verde perlado que se revise.

10.- El hombre que usted vea con las dos manos en el timón (manurio) y echao pa lante es pájaro (homosexual) o tiene miedo, el hombre, hombre maneja con seguridad. Una mano y echao pa atrás, la mano queda suelta pa sacarse los mocos, tocarle los pechos a tu esposa, y rascarse con seguridad.

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